A Trash Can Crime Wave Has Been Ended in DC


A D.C. artist, Mina Karini, 30, and her friend Timothy Logan Melham, 27, have been nabbed taking discarded trash bins and trying to remake them into flower pots. This country hasn’t had to deal with anything this serious since the government spent a million dollars to lock Martha Stewart up.

Ms. Karini saw the bins collecting on the streets with a yellow sticker reading “Take Me!” and she took them because that’s what she thought “Take Me”  meant, especially since they were on trash bins.

Take Me

The wording does explain that the stickers are to be used to identify which cans need to be picked up by waste management.

Ms. Karini and her friend collected 51 of them according to the police though she denies it was that many. A secret service agent saw her friend walking stealthily in a hoodie (the agent must be a racist) and found the behavior suspicious. He notified the police who made the collar.

DC’s murder rate is 8th in the nation but fortunately they know where to put their priorities.

Ms. Karini and Mr. Melham were charged with theft. Each bin is worth $1.96.

The theft of these valuable trash bins cannot go unpunished.

The bins were piling up on the streets because of gross mismanagement. They were supposed to be recycled. So far, the Washington Post reports, they are ending up in the trash instead of being recycled.

Here are the bins

Here are the bins and they are in with the trash!

It seems the only one who was recycling is Mina Karini who was arrested for it!

The case has been labeled trashcan-gate, not because of Ms. Karini or Mr. Melham, but because of the extraordinary incompetence involved in the failed recycling efforts which you can read about at the Washington Post. As for me, I just want to see Ms. Karini given a job in their waste management department.