An incompetent, a Commie, and a “felon in waiting” walk into a Des Moines bar. The bartender cheerily asks, “What would you like?”. In unison all three patrons enthusiastically reply, “I’d like to be President of the United States!”
Representing the best in his craft, Bob, the Iowan mixologist, was no mere dispenser of spirits. He was a wellspring of information, curiosity, common sense and wisdom, who saw a glorious opportunity to respectfully question and then assess these candidates.
He began with Martin O’Malley.
“Mr. O’Malley, which of your accomplishments recommends you for such a high position?”
Martin proudly replied “I was Governor of Maryland for 8 years. During that time I ended the the death penalty in our state, raised the minimum wage, legalized gay marriage, implemented stricter gun control laws, and gave in-state tuition to undocumented immigrants.” [Think Progress]
Bob, “You were also the Mayor of Baltimore?”
O’Malley, quietly, defensively “Yes. But that was 8 years ago.”
Bob, “Was your hand-picked successor’s loss to his GOP rival a referendum on your governorship? He was only the 2nd Republican to win that position in the last 48 years.”
Mr. O’Malley seemed flummoxed by the question, which is understandable. Our bartender knows the former governor’s record is problematic. Martin O, dramatically raised taxes, and fees, while presiding, not coincidently, over stunning numbers of home foreclosures and an exodus of Maryland taxpayers. [National Review]
Robert’s assessment? O’Malley is a socially liberal, fiscally irresponsible, incompetent chief executive who’d served the state of Maryland badly.
Next, Bob asked Bernie Sanders, “What in your record of pubic service recommends you for the highest office in our nation?”.
Bernie responded, “I served as the Mayor of Burlington, Vermont, a Congressman, and now U.S. Senator.”
When asked to cite some specific, significant legislation he’d written and seen passed in his latter mentioned positions the senator was unable to present anything especially noteworthy. Sanders’ economic positions boiled down to having a massive federal government redistribute money in the ways he sees fit.
When asked about his experience in the increasingly critical area of foreign policy what remained unsaid was demonstrably more damning than anything he did say; and cast a much darker shadow over “The Bern’s” self anointed, misleading “Democratic Socialist” label.
Bob knew Sander’s disturbing, 50 year history, both at home and overseas, of aligning himself with Communist causes, front groups, and leaders of that deadly movement. Bernie had heaped praise upon unvarnished, ruthless Marxist murderers such as Cuba’s Castro and Nicaragua’s Ortega. He honeymooned with his 2nd wife in the USSR and even hung a Soviet flag in his mayoral office. [NY Post]
The bartender’s take on all this? Bernie Sanders is a redistributionist, Communist central planner, thinly veiled in Democratic Socialist clothing.
Finally, Bob the learned, perceptive barkeep, turned his attention to Hillary Clinton. Before he could so much as ask a question, Hillary rattled off her laundry list of high profile, public positions.
She happily offered, “I’ve been First Lady, a New York Senator, and Secretary of State.”
Having seen the fate that befell her rivals when faced with simple, direct follow up questions, Hill moved to avoid that calamity by immediately going to what’d become her patented “stump speech”. Fix income inequality! Protect women (not accosted by Bill). We have to stop those hateful, nasty, Republicans!
Mrs. Clinton was counting on her congenial host to show deference and not interrupt. He obliged. But while she was regurgitating her endlessly rehearsed lines, Bob took time to reflect on the growing, non-GOP elephant, following Hillary around. It’s the never ending, continually developing, e-mail scandal.
It seemed every day a new, more damaging story broke about her sending and receiving transmissions of a highly sensitive nature. Last week, an Obama appointed Intelligence Inspector General wrote a letter to Congress saying Hillster’s home brew server contained info that was designated “beyond even top secret”. More recently it’s been revealed at least one of her e-mails exposed info from human intel sources.
All this caused Robert to recall stories from 6 months ago. Some of those pieces made reasonably credible claims, quoting a specific federal statute, that Hillary Clinton had committed a felony. [Daily Kos]
And the articles back then were based only on what was known at that time! Things have most certainly not gotten any better for the former Secretary Of State.
Bob’s evaluation? Mrs. Clinton was a clumsy campaigner, unable to claim any truly successful policy initiatives, and likely a “felon in waiting”.
The whole scene reminded him of those many variations of that timeless 3 people walk into a bar joke. So he considered coming up with one of his own.
An incompetent, a Commie, and a “felon in waiting” walk into a bar claiming they want to be President of the United States. Bob figured, while the punch lines seemed to write themselves, given the perilous state of our nation, none of them were really funny.
He deep-sixed that idea, along with any consideration of casting his vote for a single member of this frighteningly unqualified, out of touch, trio of Democrat candidates.