Clinton, the Campaign Whisperer, Hoping We Get Hosed For Four More Years


[If you are unfamiliar with Dough the Obama Dog, click here to check out his autobiography.]

The Politburo aka Politico has a story today which claims that Clinton is Obama’s new campaign whisperer and he is giving Obama slogans to tear Romney apart with.

Obama has been trying out different slogans and none work as well as “Hope and Change,” “Winning the Future,” and “Yes, We Can.” Those are off-bounds for obvious reasons.

Obama has tried attacking Romney by saying he has no political or moral core but it doesn’t seem to be resonating. Obama really needs an attack slogan because propaganda works! Nothing need be about the country or the fact that millions of Americans are unemployed as long as we have attack slogans.

Clinton told the Obama campaign to focus on Romney as a “severe conservative.” The goal is to repulse Hispanics, women and moderate independents. It is ironic since conservatives see Romney as a liberal, but that’s an aside.

One slogan they came up with is “We Can’t Wait.” [Seriously, that’s what they came up with?]

The fact is that they left out the real story behind this one. Obama actually has a dog whisperer who is feeding all the info to Clinton. I spoke briefly with Dough the Obama Dog over the phone and asked him if he did indeed give Clinton the idea for the new “Romney is a severe conservative” slogan.

Dough said, “Yes, I saw them struggling for a line of attack. I have volunteered as a dog whisperer and have vicious attack dog qualities which is what they are looking for. I told Clinton I’d help but that I didn’t want to sit too close to Obama, especially near dinner time, and he agreed.”

Dough added, “They didn’t like my other suggestions, ‘Hookers R Us,’ ‘On Your Marx, Get Set, Go,’ ‘If You Could See Us Mao,’ ‘More Solyndras In Our Future,’ ‘Because I Have a Great Jump Shot,’ ‘Hopefully,’ ‘We Love Vegas,’ ‘Because I Need Four More Years to Find A Church,’ ‘Obamacare, Shovel-Ready,’ ‘Change We Can Bereave In,’ and ‘I feel A Tingle Up My Leg When I Think Four More.'” [Free Republic]

I asked Dough if he minded not getting credit and he said he wants to keep his contribution quiet because he’s still hoping Romney will adopt him.

Axelrod and Cutter hope to paint Romney as a throwback but Dough thinks it is a bad idea. He said, “If they saw Obama eating dog, snake and crunchy grasshoppers, they might not want to use that word about Romney.”

Before we hung up, Dough had these final words, “I wanted to be fair so I called Romney and gave him an idea for a new slogan, “Hope for Change,”

No word on whether or not Romney will use it.