Al Franken has a new book out! It’s called, Al Franken: Giant of the Senate, but they will have to recall it since they must have let out a key word. We believe it should read, Al Franken: Giant Schmuck of the Senate.
Axios picked out some key quotes you will all want to hear and it will no doubt prompt every right-winger to go out and buy it. It’s a fine example of left-wing humor which relies almost exclusively on contempt and ridicule of people who hold opposing opinions.
“Here’s the thing,” Franken writes, “you have to understand about Ted Cruz. I like Ted Cruz more than most of my other colleagues like Ted Cruz. And I hate Ted Cruz.”
Cruz responded to that and called it “obnoxious”, but that is what Franken does best – obnoxious.
“Al is trying to sell books and apparently he’s decided that being obnoxious and insulting me is good for causing liberals to buy his books,” Cruz said in an interview. “I wish him all the best.”
Franken pretends in the book that he was angry Cruz spoke about Mitch’s private utterings in public, famously calling him a “liar”. The man who ridicules Republicans regularly suddenly cares about decorum, protocol and embarrassing Mitch. We’re supposed to believe that from the man who compares the President to O.J. Simpson. Franken wouldn’t know decorum if he fell over it and it came back up, beat him about the head and then drove him into the ground.
After that section above, Franken goes on with a left-handed compliment:
“The reason I like Ted more than most of my other colleagues do is that he actually has a decent sense of humor. Ted has tried out jokes on me. They’re usually pretty pedestrian – generally. I can see the punch line coming, and many are not-very-good versions of constructions I’ve heard before. But as politician jokes go, they’re not…”
He didn’t stop there. He went on to talk about a joke between Cruz and Amy Klobucher, another leftist.
“Ted,” Amy smiled, “I’ve written a joke about you for the Gridiron and I wanted to get your okay.”
“Sure,” Ted smiled back. “What’s the joke?”
“Well,” Amy smiled, “here it is: ‘When most people think of a difficult cruise, they think of Carnival. But we Democrats in the Senate think of Ted.”
I noticed of course that she had softened the joke a bit, changing “a bd cruise” to a “difficult cruise” and changing “we think of Ted” to “we Democrats in the Senate think of Ted.”
Ted smiled. Then he offered a suggestion. “What if you changed ‘a difficult cruise’ to “a challenging cruise?”
Oh my God. What a putz! Now the joke isn’t funny. I could tell that Amy was thinking the same thing. And so could Ted. So before Amy could respond, he smiled even more broadly and said magnanimously, “I’ll tell you what. I believe in the First Amendment. You go ahead and tell your joke.”
Wow that was patronizing! I decided to step in.
“Say, Ted,” I smiled. “I did a rewrite of Amy’s joke, and I think it’s a lot better. Want to hear it?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Amy having two successive thoughts:
1. “Oh no–Al’s not going to do this!”
2. “But I definitely want to be here if he does.”
Ted was still smiling, “Sure!”
“Okay. Here it is, ‘When most people think of a cruise that’s full of shit, they think of Carnival, but we think of Ted.”
And there went Ted’s smile. For once he had no words. I nodded, turned around and walked away.
To recap, Klobucher and Franken were mocking Cruz and Cruz is labeled a klutz for not joining in and with all of Franken’s self-described mind reading powers, he couldn’t figure that out. Then, to finish it off, he thinks being vulgar and repulsively nasty is a win!
It didn’t stop there. Other loathsome attacks on Cruz, the Republican he likes most, were far worse than that. He devoted an entire chapter to demonizing Ted Cruz. It shows how evil he is.
Nice work Minnesota, you sure can pick ’em.
Franken doesn’t really hate Cruz, he hates Republicans, Conservatives and Libertarians and everything they stand for.
Following are a few more excerpts from Axios. The left is running with the Trump is O.J. routine as if it were actually clever. Most on the right think Franken is like Vlad the Impaler.
“When Trump demanded an investigation into those millions of fraudulent votes, it reminded me of O.J. Simpson, who, after being acquitted of murdering his ex-wife and Ron Goldman, vowed to spend the rest of his life ‘finding the killer or killers.'”
On campaign life: “[I]magine … the training montage from a ‘Rocky’ movie, with a driving soundtrack and energetic editing. But instead of jumping rope, I’m eating hotdish at an assisted-living facility that traditionally has high caucus turnout.”
The funniest Republican in the Senate ... Lindsey Graham: “In 2016, Lindsey ran for president, and found himself somewhere around fifteenth in a field of seventeen. Running into him in the senators’ bathroom, I told him, ‘Lindsey, if I were voting in the Republican primaries, I’d vote for you.’ … [W]ithout hesitation, he replied, ‘That’s my problem.'”
We don’t know if the pro-woman comedian included any of his rape jokes in his book like the skit he did about Lesley Stahl in which he said, And, “I give the pills to Lesley Stahl. Then, when Lesley’s passed out, I take her to the closet and rape her.” Or, “That’s why you never see Lesley until February.” Or, “When she passes out, I put her in various positions and take pictures of her.”
That’s old news so he probably didn’t mention it. The left can bring up Romney force-cutting a lock of a classmate’s hair at age 18 but don’t bring up Franken’s 1995 rape joke or his nasty gay jokes or whatever shows his character.