We wanted to take this opportunity and remind you of all the wonderful things we’ve done on your behalf. Given today’s climate of horrifically, biased coverage spewing from the right wing, mainstream, Tea Party media, we’ve decided to recast our record in the proper light. It’s important you know everything we do; we do it for you.
Let’s begin with the kerfuffle over our eliminating certain uses of the Senate filibuster. You need to ignore all those previous, passionate statements my colleagues and I have made on the absolute sanctity of that centuries old rule. Focus instead on how those mean Republicans were giving my judicial nominees a hard time. I’ve said time and again, no president in the history of our nation has faced the kind of unwarranted opposition I have.
Just look at all the noise over phony scandals centered around Fast and Furious, Benghazi, and the IRS. The Department of Justice gunrunning had about as much direct impact on most American lives as those murders in Libya. As for the Internal Revenue Service auditing so many Conservative groups? Those screwballs have only about a 27% approval rating. I’m at least 10 points higher. Besides, I’ve said we’ll get to the bottom of those problems and, someday, somebody will.
We know many of our younger people have been put off by the NSA’s surveillance programs. The idea of having the federal government monitoring emails and phone calls is very off putting. That’s especially true for all those millennials who have, over the last two presidential elections, blindly offered us their full support. To you we say, trust us. We know better than you, how important this program is to not only your safety but to the safety of all Americans. My party and I know best what’s in your best interests and we will always have those best interests at heart.
That brings us to the bogus uproar over ObamaCare, or as we’d like to rebrand it, the Affordable Care Act. The many, right wing generated mischaracterizations of my promises, along with their endless harping on the law’s glitches have had an unjustifiably negative impact on your president specifically, and D.C. Democrats in general. It seems the naysayers are pointing at every delay, both big and small, as either being politically motivated or the result of incompetence.
What these neanderthals, and sadly even some regular Americans fail to understand is….we’re trying to protect you from yourselves. That’s why we’ve designated plans you “thought” you were happy with for all these years, to be sub-standard. We’ve selected much better health insurance options for each and every person in this great country. We knew the magnitude of this grand idea might be just too much for most ordinary thinkers, so it was left to us to implement the scheme; even if it meant disregarding absolute truths, or suddenly bouncing a small minority (5%) of people from their health insurance. The ends will justify our means
My party and I want you to realize, we know you better than you know yourselves. What we do is for “the greater good”. It’s for your greater good.
Condescendingly, Disingenuously Yours,
Barack Hussein Obama, & the Democrat Party