During the last interview, I asked Dough if he knew what Michelle Obama spent the $10 million dollars on during her vacations. The only thing I could get out of him was she bought a lot of souvenirs. She bought him the diamond that he wears in this photo. It once belonged to someone named Hope. His pearls are Mikimoto. Dough loaned me Michelle’s crown for this photo – I was thrilled.
He said that it’s been a bit of a bore being back at the White House. Having to scramble for scraps of Steak Tartare and Arctic Char have been exhausting for him and he hopes that he’ll be able to get off the Michelle Obama low cal diet soon. He’s been trying to explain to Michelle that he is pleasantly plump with an overactive thyroid.
His days of late have been spent picking up deceased carrier pigeons being shot down by Republican sharp shooters who are trying to keep the “Pass the Bill” messages from arriving at Congress. When I asked him how he felt about this added assignment, he said, “It’s fine. They’re tasty. They taste like chicken.”
We then broached the sensitive topic of Bo the fancy Obama dog and his response was that she will be the death of him, prancing around like she thinks she is all that. He confided to me that he took Bo’s mink pillow and mailed it to Queen Elizabeth with a note saying, “Hope this note finds you well and really sorry about that gift my master gave you with all his speeches, I couldn’t listen to them either.” Dough said his master became clinically depressed when he heard about it, and told Bo her days of mink pillows are over. Word has it that the New York Times is writing an article about this episode.