I Can’t Wait for Local Police to Be Federalized

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I can’t wait for the Progressive dream of a nationalized police force to be realized. Perhaps Al Sharpton could be the czar since he is doing so much to make it all happen.

We would need a public advocate for whites and for that we could get Louis Farrakhan.

A federalized police force would of course mean an easily politicized police department that could respond quickly to a wealthy 1%er like Michael Moore. When he demands the prison doors be opened and the prisoners released, it would be done.

When vigilantes demand police officers be executed for bringing harm to some twenty-time felon or violent gentle giants, we wouldn’t have to waste time with our current system.

We could put a streamlined one in its place with political prosecutors who don’t worry about details such as whether the weapon was illegal or even whether s/he has the right name, address and birthdate when charging the perceived perp.

In this kind of system, it would make sense to bring back public hangings to satisfy the mob.

No more criminals would die in police custody. They would have their seat belts on. Not having a seatbelt on a prisoner in a van is attempted murder.

The prosecutor could serve as judge, jury, and executioner upon consultation with the elites in government and the left-wing media..

I think Russia has a similar approach and it’s very efficient.

The federal government also brings good times to law enforcement.

We could look forward to federal law enforcement hanging out with cartels and hookers and leaving loaded guns in bathrooms.

We’d see gyrocopters landing everywhere as long as leftists are flying them. What fun!

I like these uniforms for our new force. What do you think?

Nikolai Kozitsyn

There would be no more worries about local police buying old HumVees from the government, they would just have them.

It will be so much easier to confiscate guns, homes, bank accounts. They wouldn’t have to go through the IRS or courts. Such a nuisance.

Why wait for the IRS to rule on a 501(C)4 You could just have your nationalized police force go in and arrest everybody instead.

You people should be cheering this. Don’t be dummkopfs.

I look forward to the day when social workers review all police arrests and we stop incarcerations. It is love and totalitarianism that win the day. God bless, oops, sorry, all hail the Socialist States of America.

This article is meant to be ironical but it’s not far from the truth.