Jefferson and Madison Contacted the Sentinel and They’re Not Happy


Jefferson and Madison

Dear Judge:

You have held that a state law banning gay marriage was unconstitutional.

See here: Breitbart, “Same sex marriage ruling confuses Declaration of Independence with Constitution.”

Initially, we didn’t understand why a state would ban happy marriages, but then we were told that gay has a different meaning in your America than it did when we ran the show. In case you’re interested, there is no constitutional right to gay marriage, as you define it, or for abortion for that matter. We should know.

We wrote the Constitution.

You stated that the phrase all men are created equal is contained in the Constitution. No it’s not. It’s in the Declaration of Independence. Aren’t federal judges required to read the Constitution, and know its contents before they use it to strike down a law? Apparently, not.

We were shocked to learn that your president routinely amends Congressional laws by executive orders, something King George did. Is anyone in your America aware of the separation of powers doctrine? Apparently, not. Please advise him that he does not have the Constitutional authority to do this. We established the doctrine to prevent a president from becoming a monarch. If the president did this in our America, he would be impeached.

We were further shocked to hear that your NSA collects data on telephone calls, and e-mails (whatever those are) of every American. Didn’t anyone in your America ever hear of the Fourth Amendment? This one is in the Constitution, not the Declaration of Independence. If the government in our time could not read everyone’s mail, we certainly didn’t intend for your government to read everyone’s communications, regardless of the technology developed.

We learned that you use an agency called the IRS to harass, and target political opponents. Didn’t anyone in your America hear of the First Amendment? Does anyone in your America take their oath to protect, preserve, and defend the Constitution seriously like we did? Apparently, not.

Most shocking is how your government views, and labels citizens who believe in the principles we established as extremists. Are you kidding us? Extremists are those who wish to undermine these principles.

You can learn much from the type of leaders a country has, and about the citizens who place them in power. In our America, we had courageous political thinkers, such as ourselves.

Look at the leaders in your America. What’s up with this Nancy Pelosi? She routinely says stupid things, such as you must pass a law to find out what’s in it. Is she retarded? We were just informed that that this term cannot be used in your America. Is she a woman with special needs? Does anyone know how to read in your America? You read a bill before you pass it so you know what you are voting on. Is common sense a lost art in your America?

What’s up with John Boehner? Why is he always crying like a little girl? We faced many more challenges than he did, like fighting the British Empire. We didn’t cry when our cause for independence was in peril. We suggest he spend less time on his tan, crying, and a three martini lunch, and grow a set.

Harry Reid is your Senate Majority leader? What a disappointment. We can’t stand to hear his high pitched little whiny lying voice. A clown like this could never be a leader in our America.

We regret not including term limits. We never intended to have clueless career politicians who never had a real job stay in power for decades sucking on the public teat. Even without term limits, Washington refused to serve more than two terms.

When we approved the Constitution, a woman came up to Ben Franklin and asked what type of government we had established. He replied, “A republic if you can keep it!” After observing your leaders and your uniformed citizens who are too busy shopping to cherish their freedom, it’s obvious to us that you can’t.

Why did we sacrifice everything to fight for independence in order to escape tyranny, only to find our posterity doesn’t think enough of the liberty, and freedom we established to preserve it?

Regrettably yours,
Jimmy Madison
Tommy Jefferson

PS- We didn’t use our formal historical names because in your America, few know who we are and what we accomplished. Your citizens want cool and hip celebrities leading them, rather those who can actually govern. We decided that if we sounded hip, they may consider our observations more carefully.