Branco cartoon via Americans for Limited Government
Mother Jones (MJ), the bizarre online magazine funded by George Soros, which is a also a vehicle for global alarmist theories, claims that global warming is the reason no one can find Malaysian plane MH370. They say we messed up the currents!
MJ found three scientists who swear to it. Because of global warming, we can’t predict the way the wreckage is drifting:
“The winds of the Southern Indian Ocean bordering the Southern Ocean have been shifting southwards and intensifying over the last 20 to 30 years, in part due to a warming atmosphere and the hole in the ozone layer. Ocean currents are also tightening around Antarctica, shifting whole climate systems towards the South Pole.
Both the ozone hole and greenhouse gases are working together to change the winds over the Southern Ocean.
As winds and ocean currents have been driven south, there have been alarming side effects, says [Steven] Rintoul. “We have seen changes in the last few years that even 5 or 10 years ago we would have thought highly unlikely,” he says. The sea is hotter, for example, and less salty: “There’s warming, and freshening of the deep ocean and the surface ocean, shifts in the latitude of the major currents, and changes in the ice driven in part by the wind, and in part by the ocean.”
There is only one thing wrong with this theory. The earth has not warmed for over 17 years. Why didn’t we see these trends 17 years ago and only see them now that there isn’t any warming?
It’s not just about the plane, global warming causes rapes, murders, the Syrian War, hog deaths, and so on. Check it out:
1. Global warming will cause murders, rapes, MJ claims. Global warming is going to make Americans more likely to kill each other. A study completed by a Harvard fellow indicates that “hotter weather leads to more murders, more rapes, more robberies, more assaults, and more property crimes.” They took this from “historic crime and temperature data.”
That must mean Californians and Floridians are far more dangerous than New Yorkers and Illini, right? Why are the crime rates so high in cold areas? Why?
Let’s waste some more taxpayer money on these useless dissertations so Mother Jones can make them into an issue.
Mother Jones has stats for the theory:
“From 2010 to 2099, climate change will “cause” an additional “22,000 murders, 180,000 cases of rape, 1.2 million aggravated assaults, 2.3 million simple assaults, 260,000 robberies, 1.3 million burglaries, 2.2 million cases of larceny, and 580,000 cases of vehicle theft” in the United States.”
People become more aggressive in warmer temperatures according to MJ.
2. Snow storms, even the “snow-meggedon” of 2010 was caused by global warming.
“Even as it raises temperatures on average, global warming may also lead to more intense individual snow events.” It’s obvious, Mother Jones claims. “A future with wetter and warmer winters…will bring more snowstorms than in 1901-2000.”
3. Ninety companies, they say, cause two-thirds of the global warming and of course oil companies are the major contributors. Let’s all go live in huts.
4. The conflict in Syria is caused by global warming, says MJ. “The Syrian conflict is just one recent example of the connection between climate and conflict, a field that is increasingly piquing the interest of criminologists, economists, historians, and political scientists.” [...] “Studies now show the connection of global warming to everything from the collapse of the Mayan civilization to modern police training in the Netherlands.”
5. Global warming causes coffee shortages!
“If there was ever a reason to rise up in support of a benevolent climate-obsessed world dictator, this could be it.”
“Climate change has already taken the Winter Olympics, your Eggos, and the McDonald’s dollar menu, and now it’s coming for your coffee, too.”
“An epic drought—Brazil’s worst in decades—is threatening exports from the world’s largest coffee exporter and driving up wholesale prices worldwide. We’ve officially entered the realm of bloggers’ worst-case scenario.”
6. When global warming isn’t causing snowstorms and droughts, it’s causing fires.
7. It causes or intensifies earthquakes.
8. Even Iowa’s hogs are suffering because of global warming. According to MJ, “Iowa farmers lose $40 million in hogs and pigs every year due to heat strew which will climb as temperatures rise.”
There’s hope though, MJ says “burning trees” and “grazing reindeer” is a partial solution to global warming.
If we were to listen to MJ, we’d face a life in huts burning trees and grazing reindeer, at least us peons would.