That famous and funny blogger, Doug Ross, was able to secure the top secret agenda of the Democratic National Convention and it’s thrilling.
Doug missed a couple things that my top reporter, snoop tiger tiger, uncovered.
Prime time Tuesday will include Christie Brinkley’s intellectual dissertation on the vileness of nuclear power. She also plans to share her treatise on why wood burning fireplaces need to be banned.
Since the Democrats didn’t have enough money to include Monday on the agenda, the media decided not to cover Monday so I believe they had to cancel the Jumah terrorists who wanted to speak about how to donate to them without incurring the wrath of the FBI. They are standbys for the invocation.
Then there is that little moppet, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, who has two speeches scheduled: Romney wants to kill women, children, old people and loves dirty water and air and, even more exciting, How to abort that grandparent you don’t like with the new Democratic Medicare Plan (not sure what that’s about).
My understanding is David “The Axe” Axelrod plans to leak some more secret documents at the convention and blame it on Romney and the Navy Seals so don’t miss it.
Exclusive: Full Secret Agenda of the Democrat National Convention!
Cub Reporter Biff Spackle scoops the world with the tippity-top secret agenda for the DNC.
2012 Democrat National Convention
Schedule of Events
7:00 pm OPENING FLAG BURNING
7:15 pm PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE TO THE UNITED NATIONS
7:20 pm Max Baucus PROPOSES A TOAST TO Barack Obama
7:25 pm OPENING PRAYER – Reverend Jeremiah Wright
7:45 pm CEREMONIAL TREE HUGGING – Darryl Hannah
7:55 pm Max Baucus PROPOSES A TOAST TO Darryl Hannah
8:00 pm GLOBAL WARMING OMFG!!!!!!!!! – Al Gore
8:30 pm WHY FOURTH TRIMESTER ABORTIONS MATTER – Barbara Boxer
8:55 pm Max Baucus PROPOSES A TOAST TO Barbara Boxer
9:00 pm CHARGING OUR TROOPS WITH WAR CRIMES – John Kerry
9:30 pm MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR SADDAM HUSSEIN AND MUAMMAR GADDAFI – Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon
9:55 pm INCOHERENT RAMBLING ABOUT COWBOY POETRY, ETC. – Harry Reid
10:00 pm Max Baucus PROPOSES A TOAST TO Susan Sarandon
10:05 pm COLLECTION DRIVE FOR THE OSAMA BIN LADEN MEMORIAL FUND – Cher
Read the entire agenda at DougRoss@Journal
Doug is a comedian but he researches his articles and has some great, factual pieces. He is also known as Director Blue and has an article I enjoyed, Say, remember when Barack Obama listed his birthplace as Kenya to make himself appear more exotic and marketable to publishers?