When You’re in Jail for Handing Out Straws, You Know You’re in California


Criminalizing straw dispensing!

If you are a waiter who hands out a straw without being asked, you could go to jail for six months and have to pay a $1,000 fine because you are hurting the turtles.

Ian Calderon, the Democratic majority leader in California’s lower house, has introduced a bill to stop sit-down restaurants from offering customers straws with their beverages unless they are asked for one.

“We need to create awareness around the issue of one-time use plastic straws and its detrimental effects on our landfills, waterways, and oceans,” Calderon explained in a press release.

It’s not just California, it’s Seattle too. Seattle will make a criminal out of you over utensils too!

Calderon, along with news outlets writing about this issue—from CNN to the San Francisco Chronicle—claim that without question that 500 million plastic straws a day, some of them, end up in waterways. The National Park Service said it but they got it from the recycling company Eco-Cycle. Eco-Cycle has no data whatsoever but if they say it, it’s good enough for California loons to put you in prison.

The Eco-Cycle loons have a Be Straw Free campaign going because what could be more important?

Actually, Eco-Cycle has proof on that 500 million straws. A phone survey by a then-9-year old Milo Cress is the basis for the claim.

Good enough for me! Yes sir!

The California Costal Commission during its annual Coastal Cleanup Day claimed a total of 835,425 straws and stirrers since 1988, or about 4.1 percent of debris collected.

Who knows where they got that. Probably from some 9-year old.

Good enough for me!

And you think you’re free? Sorry, you’re not dumbass.



  1. Illegal aliens are murdering and raping Californians while the state refuses to hold the criminals for ICE to interview, but they’re going to send hard-working citizens to jail for handing out straws? That sucks! (Pun intended!)

  2. Would someone actually feel proud for sending someone to jail for straws? Most people use straws cause it’s easier on their teeth or they would rather not put their mouth on the glass. What about just making sure straws go in recycling? This is stupid..but stupid has become the new normal in some places.

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