Yes, Millennials, There is a Government Santa Claus. It’s You!


Santa Oclause


With apologies to Francis P. Church’s editorial, “Yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus.”


Dear President Obama:

I’m 29 years old.  Some of my friends say there is no Government Santa Claus.  My Women’s Studies professor said, “If Barack says it, it’s so.”  Please tell me the truth, is there a Government Santa Claus?


Jen Y.


Jen Y., your friends are wrong.  They’ve been watching Fox, and tuning in way too much talk radio.  They do not believe except what they hear from those right wing, small minded trumpeters of hate.  Measured against this vast universe of ours, these naysayers are intellectually challenged. They are incapable of grasping the whole truth of knowledge.

Yes, Jen Y. there is a Government Santa Claus.  It exists as surely as federal largesse and dependency exist.  As we’ve repeatedly told you, federal handouts give your life beauty and joy.  How dreary would it be if there was no Government Santa Claus?  It would be as dreary as if there were no Jen Y’s.  There would be no childlike faith in Washington D.C.’s ability to make tolerable this existence.  Why, the unending borrowing and explosion of our national debt would be extinguished.

Not believe in a Government Santa Claus!  You might as well not believe fairies, or presidential promises about being able to keep your healthcare, or executive pledges about how much less your premiums and copays would be.  Just because you haven’t seen fairies,doesn’t mean they don’t endure.  Just because some recent presidential vows appear completely unbelievable doesn’t mean they aren’t true.

You take apart a baby’s rattle to see what makes the noise inside.  But there is a veil covering  Washington’s centralized, secretive workings, which not the united strength of all the strongest men could ever tear apart.  Only blind faith, combined with strict, statist orthodoxies, can move that shroud enough for the beholder to see bureaucracy’s great glory.

No Government Santa Claus!  My innocent Jen Y., it lives now and will live as long as you and your naïve, propagandized, peers allow us to confiscate your current and future revenues.  It shall survive until adults, aged 18-34, realize their wealth is being disproportionately redistributed and stuffed into bottomless stockings labeled Welfare, Medicare, Social Security, Medicaid, and ObamaCare.

No Government Santa Claus?  My wide-eyed young friend, you and your entire generation of Millennials are the Government Santa Claus.