Guess what? At the age of 72, I am going back to school to get a degree in “Sex Education”, offered by San Francisco State University.
Please don’t call my wife. She’s actually quite thrilled at the thought of not having me around for 4 years. Seeing me on parents weekend, is more than enough for her!
It all started when President Obama’s student-loan program,”made me an offer I couldn’t refuse”. I can go to any college, get any degree, and the President, using taxpayer money of course, will pick up the tab.
Last week, President Obama reminded an “enthralled” student audience, that it is the Democratic Party who is making all of this possible. Its those ruthless Republicans and those heartless, uncaring Conservatives who have the unadulterated gall and the incredible nerve, to actually ask you to pay it back. We students better vote Democratic!
But hold on a minute! There’s a “slight” hitch in this free-education plan.
After sending the application and getting those recommendations, I may now have to study sex-education at Roslyn’s Adult Education instead. Some unscrupulous Republicans are going around saying that taxpayers, somewhere, sometime, will actually have to pay off this huge debt.
Are they kidding?
Didn’t Barack just tell us that all he had to do was to raise the debt ceiling again and just borrow the money?
The Liberal’s dream of a free education is turning into a national nightmare because so many graduates are NOT paying us back! And that number is rising rapidly, because Professor Obama, believe it or not, is teaching every student how not to pay off their loans!
- Do you just love playing with dolls? Obama will lend you the money to study “Puppetry” at the University of Connecticut.
- Is your education getting in the way of your drinking? Turn your alcoholism into something much more productive than your second DUI. A student-loan will get you a degree in “Fermentation Sciences”, given by North Carolina’s, Appalachian State University.That way, the judge will “understand” when you tell him that you were just doing research for a college paper, when the cop pulled you over with a .20 alcohol blood level!
- How about cleaning-up your room and, at the same time, getting rid of all that junk by majoring in “Auctioneering” at Harrisburg Area Community College? or finally,
- Looking for a nanny next summer? Study to be a nanny yourself at Kentucky’s Sullivan University! It’s a great program and Obama will take care of the tuition.
Just when our national debt has reached the unheard of sum of 17 trillion dollars, when we are now spending $200 BILLION dollars a year on social security disability payments, and when 48 MILLION American’s are receiving food-stamps, Obama has increased the size of his student-loan program to a staggering ONE TRILLION DOLLARS!
As reported on CNBC in 2011-2012, 71% of ALL undergraduates, (regardless of their need or what they are studying), now receive some form of financial aid. Our “spender-in-chief” is really doing his job! Sounds like he is on commission!
Putting this in perspective, it’s TWICE the amount it was, when Barack Obama took office!
Better yet, lets take a quiz: Which is the highest amount?
- the entire united states credit-card debt.
- the entire united states car-loan debt or
- he entire student-loan debt?
The answer: the highest is the student loan debt!
Amazing isn’t it ? Higher than either of the other two!
Here are last month’s numbers directly from Obama’s own Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB), (what we really need is a Taxpayer Financial Protection Bureau ( TFPB)!)
- You now know that the student loan program has grown to a whopping one trillion dollars! Got it? One trillion big ones!
- As more students receive federal loans, the colleges are just raising their tuition accordingly. Its just more money in their pocket! No wonder 80% of all college professors vote Democratic ! Now please sit down’, take a deep breath and get ready for the really bad news:
- The CFPB reported last month that 40% of ALL out-of-school borrowers, (that not a misprint!) have either defaulted or followed Obama’s plan and are NOT paying back their student loans!! AMAZING!
This is the breakdown: seven million student borrowers are currently in default! By the way, Obama’s definition of default is anyone not making a payment in NINE months! Got that? 9 months! Imagine what the numbers would be if they used three months in arrears, like our mortgage payments?
Add on the 8.9 MILLION others who have taken Obama’s advice and postponed paying us back for 3 years. Theoretically, they are not currently paying us back now either!
What makes you think they will start paying in 3 years? Are you still glad that Obama nationalized the student-loan program two years ago?
Before I give you my solution, here’s Obama’s plan (from his same CFPB): Pay attention, all you deadbeats out there, (so sorry, much too insensitive) all you “delinquent student borrowers” out there, how’s that?) This is how the CFPB teaches you NOT to pay us back! How kind of them with our money. Here goes:
Any recent graduate can limit his payment to 10% of his yearly income. If your parents are paying your rent and giving you money, your income is really low! So are the payments! Why get a job? Why pay it back?
After TEN years of paying the minimum amount, the balance is completely forgiven. Do you believe that? Why would anyone pay more than the minimum? Still not enough for you ?
Try working for the government or a non-profit and your loans will also be forgiven in 10 years!
Some thanks are definitely in order:
- Lets thank all those present and future taxpayers who just love their taxes going to subsidizing students, other than their own kids !
- Lets thank our government and the non-profits for hiring all these debt-ridden graduates, to replace their parents, friends and neighbors, who are currently working in those jobs!
- A big round of applause to our President, who has saddled us with a one trillion dollar “free” education program! What a legacy!
Now its time for my plan! It’s called, “John’s Program Of Idiotic Loans Department”, better known as “Spoiled”:
UNTIL YOU PAY BACK YOUR STUDENT LOAN:
NO gym membership (try walking)
NO Flat screen TV,
NO I-phone (only a regular cell phone ), No Starbucks, (make your own!)
NO BMW (maybe a Corolla),
NO house in the Hamptons, (swim at Jones Beach!)
NO Nobu (eat at the Diner)
I feel so bad for all you recent graduates; sometimes growing up isn’t easy! because, “There is no such thing as a free lunch.” ~ Milton Friedman, economist