Congressional “Special Rules,” and “Sorry not Sorry”


“Hey Boys that’s where our money goes…..”

“Congress’ a corker, scoundrels all over
We buy them everything to keep them in style.
perverted proclivities, we pay the liabilities,
Hey boys that’s where our money goes…”


When it comes to harassment, sexual or otherwise, members of congress enjoy, special “Rules of Engagement,” to be envied by every pervert and bully in the school yard.  Per unique code of conduct rules enacted in 1955, here’s how it works:

A claimant has 180 days to file a complaint by calling the Office of Compliance obtaining a special password to access the complaint form. The claimant then spends one month in counseling and another month in a mediation phase. The process is confidential for both involved parties, an entire congressional office tasked with ensuring that cases are not handled in the courts.
Once a mediation settlement is reached, the claimant is paid off.  No silly, not by the office of the abuser, but by a, “special U.S. Treasury fund,” i.e. tax payers

Per the Washington Post, between 1997 and 2014 the U.S. Treasury fund paid for 235 workplace violation settlements for a sum total of $15.2 million. And it’s all kept secret with unsuspecting taxpayers on the hook for payoffs meant to protect House and Senate members, and, in some instances, their staffers.

Those very pious House and Senate members of both political stripes, current and past, had better take great care as they pile on to those not so fortunate to have laws created for their own, personal protection. When men like Harvey Weinstein, previously seen as too big to fall, are dropping like flies.

As social media sites are lighting up with trends like, #MeToo, they better be well-confident their own behaviors have been above reproach.

The latest abuser De jour is Senator Al Franken. His fall from grace, if he ever had any, is actually being helped by Al Franken. Last May the senator’s book, “Al Franken, Lion of the Senate,” was published.  Among the revelations in his book was his, “sorry… not sorry,” story.

During his very contentious 2008 senate run, Franken’s past threatened to disenfranchise female voters. It involved his “work” at SNL and a 2000 article he wrote for Playboy entitled, “Porn-o-Rama.”  Al’s brand of perverted humor included a skit he wrote whereby commentator, Leslie Stahl, would be drugged, dragged into a closet and raped.  While unconscious, she would then have pictures taken while being posed in odd positions.  Funny?

The comic turned politician had no intention of apologizing. He believed by doing so, the apology would, “sell out my career … who I’d been my entire life.”  But Franken’s coveting of a senate seat trumped his personal beliefs, vulgar as they may be, and he did what most politicians learn to do early on in their political careers, he lied. Fingers crossed firmly behind his back, he said, “sorry … (not sorry).

And so now, Senator Al Franken presents hat-in-hand, with yet another hollow apology for his vulgar, perverted behaviors.

And of course, the moral of the Al Franken story is, in politics, it pays to lie … and to cheat.  Franken won that 2008 senate seat in Minnesota by 312 votes with the help of 1,099 votes illegallycasted by convicted felons.

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