Mayor de Blasio is WELCOMED back to NYC with a campaign obituary

1

It was a tragic week for the 0.0001% of Americans who supported Bill de Blasio’s candidacy for President. Almost everyone else is thrilled, but New York City residents, not so much.

Most of us in New York are afraid he will work more than the seven days he worked in May, harming the city.

The NY Post welcomed him with a campaign obituary which they say is “dead of ego-induced psychosis.” They say “rigor mortis” has set in.

“It died doing what it loved best,” the obituary read, “being as far away from New York City as possible.”

“It was surrounded in the end by friends — MSNBC hosts. “It’s in a better place now — a Park Slope gym.”

“Whether it was in the empty churches of South Carolina, the sun-kissed empty deserts of Nevada or begging someone, anyone, to talk to de Blasio at the Iowa State Fair, the campaign always gave 100% — and always polled at 1% [or 0%]. ‘Can’t’ was never part of its vocabulary. Neither was ‘won’t,’ ‘please stop,’ or ‘this is a dumb idea.'”

“The campaign is survived by hotel industry officials who expect favors from City Hall. And 8 million suffering New Yorkers.”

“In lieu of flowers, de Blasio asks for donations to his slush fund.”

That’s so sad, but, fear not, he will rise again to run for governor or senator to do even more damage.

President Trump also offered his condolences and did properly acknowledge it as the “biggest story in years!”

PowerInbox
  • Comrades find out they aren’t so beloved outside of the glorious people’s collective utopias…and it couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of useless idiots.