The GOP Should Subsidize Power Ball Tickets


The following was written “tongue in cheek”.  No tongues or cheeks were damaged during the writing.

There’s a quick, easy, and relatively inexpensive way for Republicans to improve their standing among certain, hard to win, demographic groups.  One look at this year’s U.S., county by county, post election map tells the story of a country a whole lot more red than blue.  Yet overall, on a national level, the GOP lost more  races than it won.

Most folks following this kind of stuff know Republicans lose big in cities.  People living in urban areas see Democrat policies as being much more friendly to their interests.  So they vote for just about anyone with a “D” in front of his/her name.  Just ask disgraced, absentee, Illinois Congressman, Jesse Jackson Jr. how that works.  He won reelection by a huge margin, under a cloud of scandal, without even showing up for work.

The GOP can help reverse some of this by appealing to most everyone’s desire to become rich.  “Wait!” you say.  “The Republicans have been constantly demeaned, never more than this past year, for being the party of wealthy white guys. How can you possibly convince all those ladies and gentlemen who vote against “excessive” affluence to cast a ballot for somebody from the “Grand Old Party?”

The answer is easy.  Millions of those voters want very much to become filthy rich themselves, and proof can be found in the most recent run up to the $600 million Power Ball Lottery Drawing.  Metropolitan areas had lines around the block.  Across the country 100,000 tickets were being sold every minute.   If being crazy wealthy is only for the “greedy”, why do so many people want to win all that money? Because it’s a normal, very healthy, human instinct for men and women to want  much better lives for themselves and their families.

For years Republicans have tried spreading that message, and been rebuffed.  Now there could be a unique opportunity for them to promote a piece of their brand and make inroads with voters in demographic groups where they’ve had little success.

All they have to do is pass legislation that subsidizes the purchase of a certain number of Power Ball Lottery Tickets for all those below a specific income level.  Help them “live the dream” of enormous riches.  Even if they don’t win, two seeds have been planted:  1)  The GOP “cares”.   2) Having lots of dough isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Lottery subsidies would probably cost lots less than the money being spent on Obama-phones, and those hand held cells can’t be cashed in for mega bucks.  Picture this scene.  The first, big-time, subsidized, prizewinner is photographed with a Republican lawmaker who sponsored the bill.  Just as the GOPer is giving a symbolic, giant, cardboard check for for millions of dollars, a Democrat congressman is there taking a big, cardboard check for more than half the of the winner’s winnings.

Oh the lessons in this scenario.  It begins with the Grand Old Party making a case for wealth by tapping into the desires of damn near everyone wanting to be rich.  Then, the GOP shows it “cares” by helping provide “a dollar for a dream”.  Next, a Republican rep gets a photo op handing out the millions.  Finally, a tax the rich Dem comes along and confiscates a huge chunk of Mr./Ms. Lucky’s fabulous prize.  This object lesson in redistribution results in a huge demographic shift of voters moving towards the Republican Party.

No tongues or cheeks were damaged.