A raccoon was found splayed across the bathroom floor in a liquor store sleeping off a bender.
An employee in a Virginia liquor store was shocked to find whiskey bottles broken across the floor when he opened up. He was even more shocked to find the drunk raccoon sleeping off a hangover.
“He fell through one of the ceiling tiles and went on a full-blown rampage, drinking everything,” Samantha Martin, a local animal control officer, told the Daily Mail.
He went to a shelter and was released.
“After a few hours of sleep and zero signs of injury (other than maybe a hangover and poor life choices), he was safely released back to the wild, hopefully having learned that breaking and entering is not the answer,” the agency said.
Raccoons have adapted to living in urban areas to such an extent that they are now showing physical changes that resemble early signs of domestication, a recent study found. Their snouts are shorter, their teeth smaller, curlier tails, smaller brains, and floppier ears.
That explains the insanity of rioting looney city dwellers. Their brains shrunk.
Someone made an AI video of what likely went on (it’s not actually footage, but a funny simulation):
@jerseyshorelaughs2 Poor baby I know…I know 2025 been rough 😩😂 #racoondrunk ♬ original sound – jerseyshorelaughs
I do not often see a racoon out in my area, which has woods. There seems to be something wrong with lots of city people. I noticed it in the few relatives still living there. There’s a mob mentality. Plus Chicago has 2 ppm fluoride water, the highest allowed, and proven to be harmful to cognition and other things. There… Read more »