Burning Man Dems Want Festival Declared a National Emergency After an Inch of Rain

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Update: As we said, the ebola was probably a fake story, and it is. There is no ebola.

There are strange doings at the Burning Man festival. With only an inch of rain, not even an inch of rain, Joe Biden is asked to declare the area where the festival has taken place all week a national emergency. It’s muddy. There are rumors that there’s a virus going around that some people say is ebola. That’s probably not true.

Burning Man is an event focused on “community, art, self-expression, and self-reliance” held annually in the western United States. The name of the event comes from its culminating ceremony: the symbolic burning of a large wooden effigy, referred to as the Man, that occurs on the penultimate night of Burning Man, which is the Saturday evening before Labor Day.

The self-reliant part is very questionable. They didn’t even have an inch of rain, and they’re all freaking out, unless the stories of a virus are true.

Tens of thousands of people attending the Burning Man festival in the Nevada desert are being told to conserve food, water and fuel as they shelter in place in the Black Rock Desert after a heavy rainstorm pummeled the area, festival organizers said.

They even want Joe Biden to declare a national emergency. 70,000 people are stranded in Black Rock City. There are nearly 70,000 Democrats there so he did. Meanwhile, Maui, also Democrat, gets treated like Cinderella.

Maybe they’re running out of drugs!

GO DEEPER

It might not be flooding at all since that story is ridiculous. Rumors are going around that people are getting very sick with vomiting and boils. Some people say they have ebola.

I doubt the credibility of this story because they’re all probably on drugs.

Quarantine?

THE FLOODING STORY

Attendees saw their campsites turned into thick, ankle-deep mud and organizers halted vehicles from traveling in or out of the festival after heavy rains started saturating the area Friday evening. Some festival-goers hiked miles to reach main roads while others hoped storms forecast to hit the area overnight wouldn’t worsen conditions.

The Pershing County Sheriff’s Office said one person died during the event but offered few details, including the identity of the deceased person, KNSD-TV reported.

Nearly an inch of precipitation [AN INCH!] created mud-bath-like conditions in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert, where the annual event takes place.

In an update on X, the Burning Man Organization said access into and out of the site is closed for the remainder of the event. Only emergency vehicles are being allowed to pass, the organization said in a statement.

On their website, organizers encouraged participants to remain calm [AFTER ALL, IT IS NEARLY AN INCH] and suggested that the gathering is built to endure conditions like flooding. They said cellphone trailers were being dropped in several locations Saturday night and that they would be briefly opening up internet access overnight.

Celebrity DJ Diplo posted a video to Instagram on Saturday evening showing him and comedian Chris Rock riding in the back of a fan’s pickup truck. He said they had walked six miles through the mud before hitching a ride.

“I legit walked the side of the road for hours with my thumb out,” wrote Diplo, whose real name is Thomas Wesley Pentz.

Ahhhh….

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