He Who Cast the First Stone

Vlad, the leader of the Mountain People was a man to be feared, a mighty hunter, slayer of the Mountain Bear, slayer of the Mountain Tiger, slayer of the Mountain Goat, a cruel man, an atavism from the dark stone age of the Pleistocene. And now Vlad wanted more.

Vlad wanted his name to go down in history as the mightiest of kings, and so Vlad gathered his slaves – for all of his people were his slaves – Vlad gathered his slaves to attack the Valley People – the peaceful farmers and villagers below the vast mountains where Vlad’s Mountain People lived.

“The fools!” Vlad bellowed to the hoard of warrior-slaves who gathered obediently before him. “The fools! And we be fools if we do not slay them all and take their land. While we live in caves in these mountains, and we eat the meat of the animals we hunt – while we nibble at the scarce berries that grow between the boulders – while we drink the sour milk of our hungry sheep – the Valley People below have grown crops of wheat and corn and barley, peas and greens, and they eat their cows and hogs, and they catch the fat fish from their streams. They make whiskey from their grain and wine from their vineyards, while we drink foul-tasting water from our rocks – while we bathe in the same pools where we drink, and urinate.

“Look down the mountainside and see how the Valley People gather below our mountain cliffs! We will rain boulders down upon them and kill them all!”

And a mighty roar of affirmation and admiration arose from Vlad’s flock of slaves.

“Who is to stop us? Who, I ask? Not cowardly “Joe Bidin’ His Time” from the Land Across the Sea. Not Joe Bidin’ His Time and his league of evil who have taken control of the Land Across the Sea. There they once worshiped a God of words from a Bible of words – from a Constitution of words. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. Fools – Fools! All of them fools! Look at them now – one political party runs the once Land of the Free. Now the Democrats have stripped God of his powers and now they allow not a whisper of dissent among the enslaved who without their words of God, know no better.

“Look at me! I alone speak the word. Not that megalomaniac from Canada, “True Doe.” The skittish doe, who spreads and submits to the dominant stag. Not Xi Jinping-Pong of the land of the Never-Been Free. True Doe and Xi watch and salivate as I demonstrate my power over God and the powerless.

Look below our cliffs as I speak. See the gathering of the Valley People – the farm and Grain-ian people? “You! Strong one! Bring me a rock – a huge boulder – the biggest you can find — to drop upon their masses as they gather! Do it now, Strong One!”

And so the Strong One among the Mountain People found a rock so large, even the Strong One had trouble lifting it – even he had difficulty bringing it to Vlad. And Vlad laughed at him. Vlad who now stood on a narrow knife edge of a promontory protruding out from the mountain cliffs with a chasm of five hundred feet before him and five hundred feet behind him, and when the Strong One brought the huge rock to his feet the Mountain People gasped in awe, for it was indeed a rock so heavy, surely the mighty Vlad would have trouble lifting it. Yet, it was but a few who doubted.

And Vlad had trouble lifting the huge rock, but he dare not let his slaves see how the Strong One was superior in strength to Vlad the Leader.

“Mark me in your history books!” Vlad called to his people. Make mighty statues and graven images of me. For I am Vlad, your Master! Let my name forever be “He Who Cast The First Stone!”

And so Vlad breathe a deep barrel-chested breath and hefted the huge stone with his mighty arms extended full above his head. And bringing the stone above his head, the momentum carried both the stone and Vlad’s mighty arms above and behind him, and still holding onto the stone, Vlad was carried over the edge backwards to his death.

And down in the fruitful valley below Vlad and the huge stone made barely a dust cloud, and a child among the Valley People spoke. “He who lives by the stone, shall die by the stone,” the child said.

And so it was.



Image from: Bing images

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