Money Grubbers Need Hostage Puppies Now That We Know About Their Agencies

By
M Dowling
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1
1665

Perry E. Metzger, who calls himself a mad scientist (who doesn’t love mad scientists?), came up with a great analogy and posted it on X.

This is how it goes:

There is a tactic that I call the “hostage puppy.” A group spends much or most of its time and money in horrible, counterproductive ways, but they are also keeping an extremely cute and vulnerable puppy alive. If anyone tries to cut their funding or shut them down, they wheel out the puppy, show its soulful eyes to the cameras, and explain that if their budget is cut or they are shut down, the cute little puppy will die.

The puppy takes many forms and can be more or less literal.

Perhaps a corporate department is actually responsible for some extremely vital function, but does it very badly and does many other things badly besides.

Perhaps there’s a nonprofit that legitimately helps a small number of impoverished children but also spends vast sums causing harm elsewhere.

Maybe the puppy is some important service that people rely on, which, when a budget is cut, is shut down first, in order to inconvenience the greatest number of people to cause pressure for restoration of service.

And sometimes, there’s almost literally a puppy, or a homeless child with cancer, or a starving family.

The puppy can take many forms, but the common theme is that if you try to fix or shut down the failing organization, everyone will learn you’re a puppy killer. Surely you wouldn’t want to be a puppy killer?

(I’ve heard people call something similar “Washington Monument Syndrome” after the fact that any attempt to cut the parks service budget will result in the Washington Monument being closed to tourists first, but I don’t think the term is sufficiently evocative.)

Sometimes, it’s really important to have a name for something so that you can point out when it’s present. And now that you’re aware of it, you will probably see hostage puppies all around you.

How do you save the hostage puppy? By reminding everyone that it is not the case that there is only one group of people on earth that can care for the puppy. Other means of caring for the puppy are probably available, ones that don’t involve also throwing a lot of resources into a hole in the ground or worse. In fact, you should take the puppy away from the people holding it hostage. They probably don’t actually have its best interests at heart if they’re using it that way.

Is that a perfect analogy, or is it a perfect analogy?

Do you remember the line: If it saves only one child?

The Responses were good, too!

The left is having a hard time finding a hostage puppy for USAID. They came up with photos of boxes of medicines and of some African people with boxes of USAID food, but it’s not working.

The following is a real-life example from the Department of Education, the monolith that exists almost totally for its own sake. The teacher in the clip below is screaming that she’s a public school graduate.

That’s the hostage puppy? You won’t get more like her in public school?


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