Joe Biden — Thanks For The Humor

You can’t say Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden isn’t cute. And as Larry, The Cable Guy would say: “He’s funny – I don’t care who you are.”

Americans are experiencing some tough times now, what with the race riots burning down our communities in big Democrat cities across the nation, a make-shift army of heavily armed anarchists cordoning off a six to nine block area of Seattle with its shops and its residences and declaring it its own country and threatening its residents who were one day free Americans and the next day slaves of a terrorist regime – all while Seattle’s Democrat Mayor Jenny Durkan calls it a big, good natured block party – and, too, with the Democrats in Washington and Democrat governors doing everything they can to destroy our economy before November’s election, just as the Wuhan Red Death finally subsides, here comes Joe Biden to the rescue.

The other day, in a full display of his unfathomable genius, Joe Biden explained to a complicit news media that police do not have to shoot to kill black men – just shoot them all in the leg. Well, he didn’t say it exactly like that, but, hey, man – he got a lot of people thinking that’s what he meant. Again. I’m just using a technique the leftists use when they relate thing to the public. It’s called half truths, and in Adam Schiff’s case, outright lies.

What Biden actually said was, “Hey man, where are the interns?” – followed by, “This is my wife, this is my sister! They’ve switched on me!” Good grief!

Okay, enough of that. As for the recent police shootings of black men, Biden said there was no reason to kill anybody – that police officers should be instructed to shoot a suspect in the leg and disable him and stop the attack. And actually, that is so laughable it’s sad. Yet Democrats, a blood thirsty mob looting and burning, and a populace that support both has even less understanding of police protocol.

If a policeman – say Officer Joe Biden — encounters a dangerous suspect – say Billy Bad-Boy brandishing a gun — Officer Joe has no way of knowing whether the gun is loaded or unloaded. So, Officer Joe shoots Billy Bad-Boy in the leg, and in the spectacle of Billy’s ensuing cries of pain and wetting himself, Officer Joe disarms the man and arrests him. And let’s assume shooting Billy in the leg doesn’t just, well, really piss him off — enough to turn him into a raging murderer emptying his gun on a crowd of bystanders. Let’s go with: Success, the shot in the leg is the only damage done.

“Unit 7 to Headquarters! We have a suspect down – shot in the leg!”

“Joe? Is that you, Joe?”

If the leg-shot was Officer Joe’s intent, and not a shot meant for Billy’s chest or “center of mass,” then Officer Joe should be charged with deadly assault. You see, Officer Joe Biden is highly trained, and in this situation, a jury will consider that he had sufficient time to take a carefully aimed leg-shot – and consider that proof enough that Officer Joe deemed the situation such that neither he or anyone nearby was in immediate danger, at which point he is required to utilize his training and employ other options to make his arrest. Instead Officer Joe cavalierly used deadly force to unnecessarily endanger the man’s mortality and maim him for life. See how that works?

“Oh, I didn’t want to bother – so I just shot him in the leg,” Officer Biden offers as a reason for his actions.

Of course, years of law suits follow. The city must pay for a lifetime of Billy Bad-Boy’s medical bills and pay punitive compensation for the rest of his gimpy, limpy, invalid life.

Or let’s say it plays out this way. Because it was just a leg wound, Billy Bad-Boy, manages to get off two shots – one that kills a little girl bystander and one that wounds and cripples Sammy “The Speedster” Slobotsky, the crossed-eyed professional Mets shortstop, who because of being shot by Billy Bad-Boy, can no longer charge a hot grounder and catch it in his teeth – which was the one specialty that always thrilled the crowd, especially because everyone knew “The Speedster” was God-awful at every other aspect of the game. And so Billy Bad-Boy can no longer play the game and earn his multi-million dollar salary with Play-Off / World Series bonus options.

But Joe Biden is not going to prison. Not for the police shooting.

“Joe, Joe, Joe…” moans the police chief. “Joe, what am I going to do with you?”

“Don’t worry, chief. I think this year I’m gonna run for president of the United States. So, I’m gonna have to quit playing cop.”

“That’s a good idea, Joe.”

“How about a campaign contribution?”

“Why should I contribute to your campaign? I don’t even know what you stand for.”

“Hey, man! If the contribution’s big enough, I can stand for just about anything!”


h/t to Blondie Comic Strip, Chic Young, King Features Syndicate

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