The Thief Had a Pitchfork, So the Victim Grabbed His Sword


A 71-year-old man and his 61-year-old wife returned to their home in Seattle’s North Beacon Hill neighborhood around 1:30 p.m. Sunday. A kitchen window was broken, and items were strewn about. The homeowner ventured into the living room and found the guilty party slinking in a corner with a pitchfork.

Not what you want to see when you get home.

The victim’s neighbor Cody Burns told KOMO-TV, “He said he just saw red, and it turned into a scuffle that got violent really quick.”

The homeowner, calling up his 40-year-old self, punched the man, but the suspect overpowered him and was able to subdue the victim. The Pitchfork attacker attempted to stab him with his pitchfork and gouged the man’s eye. The victim broke loose and escaped to his bedroom, where he kept his gun.

Pitchfork Man went after him into the bedroom and wrestled for the gun. The homeowner freed himself, pulled the trigger, and the gun jammed.

That’s when the homeowner went for his Samurai sword and skewered Pitchfork Man. The suspect landed on the homeowner, and his wife wrestled him off her husband.

The suspect ran to a nearby home with the homeowner following to see where he went. That’s where the police caught up with the pitchfork-wielding home invader. Police found the 61-year-old with a hole in his body. The victim had a gouged eye and injuries to his body.

The suspect was arrested for first-degree burglary on $150,000 bail.

The victim told the officers, “My house has been burglarized. He was inside my house. He was inside my house, and he attacked me with a pitchfork. … I grabbed the samurai sword and defended myself with the samurai sword.”

No one had life-threatening injuries.

What happened to the assault charge, armed robbery, or attempted murder? Oh, right, it’s Seattle.

Police say the homeowner should have called the police right away. Do that but get the gun fixed. I hear the wait times for police in Seattle are long. They’re understaffed and often too strapped to even get to rapes.

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