Woke Dictionary for White Folks

White folks have to maneuver through a miasmas of vile racist accusations simply because they’re white. White people are afraid to speak their minds for fear of offending a person of color or being called a racist.

That’s exactly the goal, to squash your freedom of speech. Or worse, squash your thoughts.

Never mind that the vast majority of white folks believe that all people are created equal and are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights. Just disregard the hostile rhetoric that protesters and rioters scream at you from your TV. It doesn’t apply to you.

As a public service, I am providing an alphabetical list of the definition of terms you have probably heard as they relate to white people in general. This way you can avoid the racist landmines. I have also provided additional information or an alternate definition in parenthesis.

WOKE DICTIONARY FOR WHITE FOLKS

Blacklisted – a person who is banned or excluded because of his actions or opinions (deemed offensive because it contains the word black)

Black Lives Matter – a social activism group created by three women after the death of Treyvon Martin (now co-opted by leftist and Marxist hate groups)

Cake Walk – an easy task, something easily accomplished (a pre-Civil War dance performed by slaves)

Cultural Appropriation – the adoption of elements of one culture by members of another culture (this is why kids can no longer play Cowboys and Indians)

Diversity – recognizing the individual differences of people, including race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, age, religion, disabilities, political beliefs, etc. (diversity applies to anyone except white people)

Institutional Racism – “The collective failure of an organization to provide an appropriate and professional service to people because of their color, culture, or ethnic origin.” Sir W. Macpherson (a society set up to discriminate against anyone who isn’t white)

Grandfather Clause – exemption from new regulations applied to pre-existing situations (laws enacted in the South during the Civil War era to suppress black voting)

Karen – a member of the indigenous people of eastern Burma and western Thailand (an angry, entitled, racist white woman)

Master Bedroom – the largest bedroom in a house (a bedroom used by the Master of the house)

Microaggression – acts or words that constitute indirect, subtle, or unintentional discrimination against members of a marginalized group (anything a white person does or says)

Peanut Gallery – the cheapest section of theater seats, usually in the balcony (refers to the seats in the Vaudeville era of the late 19th century where black people sat)

PGA Masters Tournament – the first major golf tournament of the year, held the first week of April in Augusta, Georgia (now in disfavor because it has the word Masters in it)

Reparations – making amends for a wrong that has been done to those who have been wronged through financial compensation (paid by white people who weren’t alive when the wrong was done, whose families never owned slaves, and who have been working to correct it)

Social Justice – a system of equal opportunities and equal outcomes for all people (an unattainable Utopian fantasy based on Lenin’s concept of “equality of outcome” without regard to effort)

Structural Racism – a system in which public policies, institutional practices, and cultural representations often reinforce ways to perpetuate racial group inequity (if you’re white, you did it)

Systemic Racism – a system that has procedures or processes that creates disadvantages for blacks (again, if you’re white, you’re guilty)

Uppity – self-important, arrogant (first used in an Uncle Remus story in 1880 by blacks to describe other blacks who were snobbish and haughty)

White Fragility – an insulated environment of racial protection that builds white expectations for racial comfort while lowering the ability to tolerate racial stress (if you’re white, it means you’re scared and cowering in the corner)

White Privilege – the implicit or systemic advantages that people who are white have relative to people who are not white (the explanation for the oppression of minorities by implying white people have it better just because they’re white)

Whitesplaining – when a white person tells a person of color in a condescending tone how to respond when discussing racial issues (a description or clarification that is patronizing, similar to mansplaining)

Whiteness – having a socially constructed identity based on light-colored skin (the crime of being white)

Woke – being alert to social injustice and racism (you just woke up and realized you’re white)


Special thanks to Merriam-Webster, dictionary.com, and the Urban Dictionary for some of these definitions.



Image from: news.knowyourmeme.com

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