A Stony Brook doctor was taken into custody today. He faces six months in prison and a steep fine for raising bamboo in his front yard. He continually brought up the fact that he has it contained (as if anyone cares). The law is the law!! He turned over the names of his bamboo dealer and his landscapist. We will now be able to put a stop to this bamboo crime spree.
Police stumbled upon a yard of marijuana plants when first tracking down the bamboo grower, but they weren’t interested. The mission was bamboo!
Since the criminalization of bamboo by the Brookhaven Town Council, we are seeing less bamboo, but now the town commissars are tackling the problem of ivy, zoysia grass, fountain grass and unsightly weeds. In addition to the criminalization of these heinous activities, there is talk of declaring homes that contain these plants “blighted” and turning them over to developers who can restore them to their original pristine condition.
The only problem is that the Suffolk County jails are overflowing with doctors, accountants, electricians, housewives and the police are wondering what to do with the muggers, rapists and murderers. It’s hard to answer that question because we have to put first things first and that would be the bamboo blight wreaking havoc in yards and possibly sewerage (we’re working on making up a study that proves that).
You think I’m kidding? Well, yes, maybe a little, but not a lot. There is a proposal before the Brookhaven Town Council that proposes to criminalize bamboo on resident’s property. The second offense draws six months in jail. So you or your neighbor could end up alongside drug dealers, rapists, whatever, and all because you grew bamboo in your yard!
Three Village Times: A proposed town resolution would ban residents from planting invasive bamboo in their yards and would regulate existing bamboo, imposing steep fines for violations.Councilwoman Kathy Walsh (R-Centereach) proposed the local law, which would amend town code on property maintenance.
Although bamboo is not banned on Long Island, Cornell University Cooperative Extension of Suffolk County lists the plant as a moderately invasive species and recommends against selling.
The bill does not specify how a resident would restrict the bamboo growth to prevent it from spreading to another’s property.
Bamboo has also become a problem for many homeowners in other towns including Smithtown.
Smithtown Town now requires homeowners with bamboo to trim the plant to more than 10 feet from their property lines.
Huntington residents have also complained bamboo has destroyed property, and some Town Board members have considered legislation to limit the planting of bamboo in the town.
Those in violation of the Brookhaven Town code would be fined $500 to $2,000, or imprisoned up to 15 days, or both. Upon a second conviction, the person will be fined $1,000 to $3,000, or imprisoned up to six months, or both. The second offense will be classified as a misdemeanor.
A public hearing on the matter will be held March 20 at 6:30 pm at Brookhaven Town Hall.
Steve Fiore-Rosenfeld agrees with this decision but asked it be tabled to see how best to implement it. He wants to be sure he doesn’t sway public opinion away from himself.
If people in Brookhaven don’t start paying attention to the aggressive attack on liberties here, there won’t be any.
If you think this nanny-ism cannot happen in your town, think again, NY will lead the way.